Today I had such good intentions for my day off, I was going to get up, put a bentonite clay treatment on my hair, deep condition & style it. Then I thought I’d clean my flat so my weekend was free….BUT when I woke up I just had zero motivation or energy to do anything. I had worked the weekend & work is already a struggle at the moment, it’s pushing my anxiety through the roof & I absolutely hate it! I just felt like I wanted to do nothing, veg out & eat crap!! Don’t get me wrong I ate crap even though I’m meant to be on a diet! But it is what it is…
Now even though it was my day off I didn’t want to do nothing, I wanted to be somewhat productive I guess! So I had a lay in & eventually after dragging myself out of bed & showering – I just couldn’t face washing my hair today – I decided I was going to sit with my mirror & my makeup to try and cheer myself up.
Find what takes you to your happy place
Playing with makeup has always been one of the things I’ve used to calm myself down when I feel anxious or I just generally want to entertain & cheer myself up. Even when I don’t really like the outcome, the process of doing my makeup just puts me in a good frame of mine. Today it kind of worked, I wasn’t totally in love with either of the looks I did but it got rid of some of my anxious energy, but I still question myself a lot. Wondering if I am actually any good at anything I do.
Even though I wasn’t entirely happy with how the looks came out I’ve decided I’m still going to post them. I like to try & post most of what I do good, bad & ugly so I can look back at see what I’ve done & see if I have improved at all. Sometimes I take a picture of something, hate it, keep trying other things then go back a month or two later & will sometimes see an improvement. Not always…but sometimes!
A couple of looks I’ve redone to see if there is a difference in the outcome….
You don’t have to be perfect
The other thing I have to try & remember to tell myself, is that it’s ok not to be perfect & I’m a work in progress. I guess we all are, none of us are every truly ‘done’ working on ourselves as we can always improve on something. We can learn a new skill, take up a new hobby or improve & hone a skill we already have. To get to being your best you have to practise consistently & not give up, even once you get confidence & feel like you are doing great you still keep practising. Even people who are amazing in their field are still working, training & practising their skills!
Whilst you have to keep practising, it doesn’t mean that you will get better overnight so please don’t give up!! If you find something that you truly enjoy, keep working your butt off! Don’t think that you aren’t good enough or give up because you don’t see improvement straight away, take a little break for your own sanity but always come back to it. I’m a pretty impatient person so I speak from experience haha, if I don’t see results fairly quickly I get really frustrated but I’ve been working on that! I still get frustrated but I tell myself it doesn’t matter if it’s not exactly how I wanted it to come out, because its all practise & steps towards being better. I stopped with makeup because I just never ever thought I would be any good at it so I just stuck to my everyday safe makeup.
Then a friend of mine was getting married & she asked me to do her makeup for her wedding, I was so shocked that she would even ask me rather than get someone professional in to do it. But once I started talking to her about what she wanted & trying out different looks on her it rekindled my love & made me realise I really had a passion for it. Once I accepted that to get to the level I want to reach I’m gonna have to work my butt off & be consistent I set off to work….Obviously I’m not perfect & sometimes I still get really disheartened & am disappointed with how things come out but you just have to dust yourself off & keep going. If it makes you happy & you can be at peace doing it, it’s meant to be part of your life so keep doing it! Please do not give up or think that this isn’t for you!!
During this tough time of lockdown have you taken up any new hobbies or skills? Maybe you thought you’d try your hand at something new & found that you are pretty good & enjoy it. Keep on working & enjoy the journey. If you haven’t found something yet try out different things, you’d be surprised what might take your fancy & could even be a new path for you to follow!! Stay safe everyone & see you next time.